Courting Death
by Dusk to Ashes
Summary: Short, sappyish 1+2 - Heero has a confession to make


Warnings: Shounen Ai (1+2)  
-------Courting Death-------  
Heero stood outside the door, his usually steely nerves making him want to jump through the roof. His mission, the awful, terrible purpose that had defined his life, was this close to being complete. It had taken him the full three years to make himself come here, yet it seemed so stupid, looking back. After all that he'd been through... the killing, the suicidal depression that had destroyed his last shreds of humanity, the sheer horror he'd feel that kept him from any hope... but he had had hope.  
Heero raised his trembling arm... he fought to keep it still, but it seemed only to make it worse. Slowly, with the utmost precision, he knocked. Mere seconds later, he found himself staring into a sleepy face. In just that second, Heero took it all in: the huge, innocent eyes that were deeper than the deepest ocean and held so many secrets, so much buried pain, the easygoing smile that had charmed so many despite the nearly unceasing stream of words pouring out of it, the perfect hair he took so much pride in, always in a neat braid... all that was Duo Maxwell.  
"Morning, Heero... come on in," the oblivious boy yawned as he opened the door all the way and let his fellow pilot in. "So, what can I do for you?"  
"I- Duo." Heero fought to keep up his resolve. "I love you." He smiled inwardly; he'd done it. Duo didn't say anything, so Heero looked up. Duo was frozen in the middle of the room, his face unreadable.  
*Oh, God. I'm completely off-base... what would he see in me, anyway- a murderer, and what's more, another boy... what was I thinking?* Heero found himself going numb, that tiny hope dying out.  
*I'm dreaming... God, let me be dreaming. How could he know how I feel? What am I supposed to do now, huh? It's going to be pain, either way, but I ought to be used to that by now... always Shinigami.* A small smile crossed Duo's face. "Damn." He turned towards Heero, with some inhuman control holding him back from telling him just what he really felt. "Heero... I'm sorry."  
"No. It's my fault for barging in..." The Perfect Soldier laughed maniacally as his greatest foe, the boy called Heero, walked ever closer to the cliff's edge. Heero stood mechanically, walking towards the door.  
"Shimatta... matte, Heero." His hand extended towards the knob, Heero froze. "Don't you see? Do you really think I call myself 'Shinigami' just because it inspires fear? Every last person I've cared for is dead. Every one. And I'd die before I let you add to that number."  
"Duo..." Heero let his arm drop and turned back around. "Everyone dies. I'm not afraid of death. If you spend your life worrying about death, then you forget the important things." He took a step forward, flinching as if he expected rejection. "I would rather have a single moment with you and die than live a thousand years, safe and lonely." Throwing caution to the wind, he grabbed Duo's head and kissed him with all that he'd hidden away for so long.  
When finally he broke away, Heero saw tears sliding down Duo's face.  
"Sayonara, Duo..." He turned once more to the door.  
"Oi! Don't I get any say in this?" Though his voice trembled as badly as Heero's hand, Duo's words, his meaning, was clear. "That's some hell of a convincing argument... you ever consider being a lawyer? I doubt that'd pass for proper conduct, but... Oh, who am I fooling? Heero, I love you, too. Don't leave, ever."  
"Ryoukai," Heero intoned, laughing inwardly at the way Duo's face paled. "Do you think I could maybe go get my laptop, though?" Duo relized he'd been joking and cracked up at his own paranoia.  
"Maybe, if you take me with you," he returned, walking over and slipping an arm around Heero's shoulder. "and kiss me again..." He had such an expression on his face that Heero couldn't help but comply, his fingers becoming entwined in the many chestnut strands of silk that made up Duo's hair.  
Again they parted, both their faces flushed and Duo's braid falling out. The American smiled at the boy in front of him and thought, *Twenty minutes ago it was a hopeless fantasy, and look at me. He is right... this feeling is more than death could ever be.* "Yeah, I think we're okay to go fetch that computer now..."  
Duo's hand clasped tight in his, Heero walked the short distance, which had seemed like miles such a short time ago, to his room, opened the door, and walked inside. While he went to pack his things, Duo sat down in one of several chairs and promptly fell asleep. Heero finally hoisted his duffel bag onto his shoulder, smiling as he easily lifted the surprisingly light boy. Duo slept on as Heero laid him down on his bed, placing the duffel in a nearby chair. He decided he would need all his energy for the next day and slid into the large bed alongside his koi. For the first time in ages, he slipped into a peaceful slumber.  
---THE END---  
This is my, what, second shounen-ai fic ever, from... seventh grade? I think that's right. Don't bother flaming me, I know it's not that great.  
~Neko4~  
2001 


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